Life Skills for Kids by Age: What to Teach and When

Life skills are the everyday things that help kids look after themselves and the people around them: getting dressed, making a snack, saving for something they want, asking for help. This guide sorts life skills for kids by age into six groups (self-care, home, food, money, people skills and safety), with examples for ages 3 to 13. Use it as a menu, not a test. Pick one skill your child is close to, practice it together, and come back for the next one when it feels easy.

How to use this list of life skills for kids by age

Every child is different. The examples below are things many children can do in each age range, not milestones or goals your child must meet. Some children will be ahead in the kitchen and still learning to tie shoes. Others will be great at saying thank you and still need help with buttons. Both are completely normal.

A few tips before you start:

• Start smaller than you think. If a skill feels hard, choose one step of it.
• Teach one new skill at a time. The American Academy of Pediatrics points out that a long list of new tasks can feel overwhelming, especially if your child is new to chores.
• Expect wobbly tries. The AAP's guide to age-appropriate chores says not to expect perfection, since this is a learning process.
• Kitchen skills, and safety skills while kids are learning them, happen with an adult.

If you have questions about your child's development, talk to your child's pediatrician.

Self-care: start with getting dressed

Self-care is the group kids feel proudest of, because they can see the result in the mirror. The CDC's tips for preschoolers note that children at this stage can help dress and undress themselves. Try laying clothes out the night before, in the order they go on.

• Ages 3 to 5: many children can help get dressed, wash their hands, brush their teeth with help, and put shoes on (even on the wrong feet).
• Ages 6 to 8: many can get dressed on their own, brush their teeth with a reminder, pack a school bag and follow a picture checklist for the morning.
• Ages 9 to 13: many can manage a morning routine with less help, set an alarm, pack their own lunch, and keep track of their things for school or practice.

Home: one job they own

The AAP notes that helping out at home teaches kids life skills and how to cooperate as a family. The easiest way in is a single job that belongs to your child.

• Ages 3 to 5: many children can put toys in their bin, put dirty clothes in the hamper, and help wipe a spill.
• Ages 6 to 8: the AAP's chore list for ages 5 to 7 includes making their own bed, setting and clearing the table, sorting laundry and emptying wastebaskets.
• Ages 9 to 13: the AAP's lists for older kids include vacuuming, putting away their own laundry and groceries, unloading the dishwasher, changing bedsheets, and doing and folding laundry.

Food: cook side by side

Cooking together teaches measuring, waiting, following steps and cleaning up, all at once. Every kitchen skill below happens with an adult in the room.

• Ages 3 to 5: with an adult, many children can wash fruit, tear lettuce, stir cold ingredients and carry napkins to the table.
• Ages 6 to 8: with an adult, many can pour their own milk from a small pitcher, spread jam on bread with a spoon, measure ingredients and make a simple cold snack.
• Ages 9 to 13: the AAP lists making their own snacks and helping make dinner for ages 8 to 10, and cooking a simple meal with supervision for ages 11 to 12. Knives, the stove and the oven stay with an adult, when you judge your child is ready.

Money: make saving something they can see

Money feels abstract to young kids, so make it visible. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's Money as You Grow tips for young children suggest a simple line: "Some things are worth waiting for." They also suggest labeling a jar or can for saving.

• Ages 3 to 5: many children can drop coins in a saving jar, name what they are saving for, and practice waiting a short time.
• Ages 6 to 8: many can count coins, compare two prices at the store, and save for a few weeks toward a small goal.
• Ages 9 to 13: many can save toward a bigger goal, help write a shopping list and stick to it, and talk through "this one or that one" choices.

People skills: practice the words

People skills are easier when kids have practiced the words ahead of time. The CDC suggests encouraging preschoolers to play with other children so they learn the value of sharing and friendship. Try role-playing at home with stuffed animals.

• Ages 3 to 5: many children can say please and thank you, take turns in a short game, and use words to say how they feel.
• Ages 6 to 8: many can ask an adult for help, say sorry and try to make it right, and greet a visitor at the door with a grown-up nearby.
• Ages 9 to 13: many can make a short call to a grandparent, order for themselves at a restaurant, and help a younger sibling with a game.

Safety: practice before you need it

Safety skills are learned with an adult, practiced calmly and repeated often. The CDC's tips for preschoolers include telling your child why it is important to stay out of traffic, always wearing a helmet on a tricycle, and teaching how to be safe around strangers.

• Ages 3 to 5: many children can say their first name and start learning their last name, hold an adult's hand in a parking lot, and stay on the sidewalk.
• Ages 6 to 8: many can say a caregiver's phone number, know who to go to if they get separated in a store, and buckle themselves into their car seat or booster for an adult to check.
• Ages 9 to 13: many can practice crossing a quiet street with an adult watching, know your family's plan for emergencies, and keep a home key or a code safe.

Learn, practice, then do it alone

Many life skills grow in three steps. In QEST, these are the stages each Life Skill moves through on the Journey with Q the penguin: Learning, Practicing and Mastered.

1. Learning. You show the skill slowly and name each step. "First the sheet, then the blanket, then the pillow."
2. Practicing. You do it together, and your child does a little more each time. You might start the job and let them finish, or watch and give one hint.
3. Mastered. Your child does it on their own, most days, without reminders. You step back and notice it: "You made your bed before breakfast."

At home, a skill can get rusty after a busy week or a big change. That is normal. Practice it together again for a few days.

How QEST helps

On the Journey with Q the penguin, each Life Skill moves from Learning to Practicing to Mastered as your child logs real practice at home, and practice opens new worlds and collectible cards of Q's friends. Mika the cat practices making her bed, Kani the kangaroo cooks a simple meal together, and Capa the capybara saves for a goal. Q also has short video lessons, like Morning Routine Champion. You can set up Qests for each child, approve them, and let kids save Qs toward family Rewards. QEST works in English and Spanish.

Start your family's Qest

Pick one life skill from this list and set it up as your child's first Qest this week.